Chapter 10 added on 14 June 2002
Disclaimers are in part 1.
Rating: NC17
Chapter 10
After dropping Seven off in sickbay, B'Elanna had to return to engineering. She was extremely worried about the blonde, especially since the Doctor had no sarcasm for either one of them. He had quickly pushed the Klingon aside and asked why the Borg hadn't been delivered to him more quickly. When the older woman had asked if the former drone would be alright the Doctor had actually raised his voice, telling her that Seven's chances would be better if he was given time and space to do his job. He suggested she return to engineering. B'Elanna had wanted to rip him in half, but knew he didn't mean to be so rude. To a certain extent he was right; she had a job to do. She left hesitantly, looking upon the beautiful face one last time as she walked through the door.
The next three hours were a blur for the engineer. They had received only minor damage to the exterior of the ship and its systems, but the assault and attack in engineering had wreaked havoc with some very important systems. It took an entire team two hours to replace the ARI control interface and realign it to its original power grid. Then B'Elanna needed to run diagnostics on the warp core and send teams out for repairs throughout the ship.
An hour into Beta shift, the engineer felt confident that all further repairs and diagnostics could be handled by the next two shifts. She logged her reports and left instructions for the Gamma crew as to which tests to run. As she made up the duty roster for the next day, she noticed that Seven had been put on medical absence for the day, so she left a senior ensign in charge of Gamma. She closed down her station and left engineering, heading towards the sickbay.
When she arrived in sickbay she looked around and found all the biobeds empty. A certain measure of relief flooded her. If Seven wasn't still lying on a bed, she must be okay. She searched for the Doctor, and found him in his office. Striding into the EMH's private domain, she cleared her throat to announce her presence.
"Ah, it's my resident 'injure-myself' specialist. What do you have for me now B'Elanna? Broken finger? Cracked rib?" He smirked as he recounted some of her past injuries.
B'Elanna simply rolled her eyes, growling out, "No, I just wanted to make sure Seven was okay. I guess I missed her. Can you tell me how it went?"
"Yes, she is healing wonderfully thanks to my brilliance. Yes, you missed her. She headed off to Cargo Bay 2 a short while ago. I gave her the day off tomorrow; she needs to regenerate and rest. Now if you don't need my expertise, I have a wealth of reports to enter," he said excusing her.
"Oh. No, Doctor. Thanks," she answered and left.
The EMH watched her retreat curiously. He had seen the pair's relationship changing since landing on the planet. Little things piqued his curiosity. He had been growled at by Seven over his treatment of B'Elanna. The engineer's concern over the Borg was enough to personally deliver the blonde, and to come back to check on her later. The clincher was that now he was purposely goading the Klingon, and she hadn't taken any of the bait. Initially, he was uneasy about Seven's obvious attraction to the engineer. Now, seeing this tender side of the half-Klingon, he thought he could be happy for them both.
~~~~~
B'Elanna decided she would go and check in on Seven before she returned to her quarters. She knew that the Borg was probably regenerating, but she needed to see her, just to reassure herself that the blonde was alright. So much had happened that day, but somehow she couldn't help feeling positively elated. She hadn't realized her feelings had changed until the meeting. Initially, she had thought she would take some time to think about her feelings, but in the Jeffries tubes, she realized she didn't need time. Their first kiss had more feeling and soul-deep electricity than she had ever felt. Just thinking about that kiss made her shiver with excitement.
As she approached the Cargo Bay doors she wondered if she should announce herself. Then she realized that nobody ever did. For the first time, she thought about the ridiculous lack of privacy the blonde endured. It disgusted her to think that any crewman could come in and leer at her girlfriend while she was sleeping. 'Girlfriend?' B'Elanna thought with a grin.
She entered the Cargo Bay smiling, then froze in her tracks. The Captain was leaning over the Borg consoles staring at Seven. It occurred to the hybrid how many other times she had caught Janeway gazing at Seven and had never given it a thought. However, after this afternoon's meeting and subsequent talk with the hurt blonde, she was giving it very serious thought.
"Captain," B'Elanna intoned coolly from several steps behind the redhead.
Janeway stood up straight and spun quickly to face the Klingon. "Lieutenant," she replied nodding. "What brings you here this evening? I would have thought you were asleep after such a long day." The Captain put on her best command smile and silky voice.
"It's a personal matter," B'Elanna replied. "Can we talk as equals Captain? No rank?"
"Always B'Elanna. You should know by now that my door is always open for you. What can I do for you?" The redhead approached the Klingon.
"You can tell me what kind of petaQ takes a woman's virginity for a three hour fling," the Klingon growled out. "It was you, wasn't it Kathryn? You're the one who sliced her heart in half to satisfy your own lust."
"B'Elanna, I don't know what she told you, but she got what she asked for…" Janeway began. However, before she finished her sentence she was knocked cold by a hard right hook. The older woman went limp, and hit the floor. B'Elanna had a satisfied grin on her face as she sucked on the knuckle of her now broken index finger. She knew there might be hell to pay, but, damn, she felt so much better right now.
She looked at the beauty before her. Walking up to place a gentle kiss on Seven's cheek, she whispered into her ear. "I know you will probably never know it, but I got her for you bangwI'."
B'Elanna walked over to the Cargo Bay replicator and retrieved a large glass of ice cold water. She returned to the fallen woman, standing over her with a disgusted look on her face. Pouring the entire glass on to the redhead's spluttering face, she felt confident she was pushing the envelope. She grabbed Janeway's hand and hauled her off the floor. "Get up Kathryn. We don't want someone coming in and seeing you on the floor, now do we?" The engineer straightened the Captain's collar somewhat before continuing. "Now that I've said my piece, I won't ever mention it again. But, I want you to know that I plan on courting that beauty over there, and if you get in my way, I will invoke a challenge. I respect that you are the Captain. I will never confront you in front of crewmembers. Are we in agreement that we won't have to discuss all these details with others?"
Janeway's force ten glare focused upon B'Elanna when she realized how she had been backed into a corner. The Klingon wasn't fazed; she merely raised an eyebrow to emphasize her question. The redhead sighed deeply, then nodded her assent. Finally, B'Elanna sneered, "I think you'd better get the Doc to look at your eye where you fell into the table, don't you?"
"B'Elanna, I know you don't want to believe this, but I never meant her any harm," Janeway stated in a subdued voice before walking away. The redhead stopped a few meters before the doors and snarled over her shoulder, "By the way, Klingon. I may have deserved this, but if you ever try anything like it again… you will live in the brig for the rest of the ride home." Janeway then straightened to her full height and stalked away. B'Elanna stayed and looked at the beauty for a few minutes, then left for her own quarters.
~~~~~
"Regeneration cycle is complete." The cool tones of Voyager's A.I. greeted Seven as it had on most mornings since she had joined the ship. Nonetheless, Seven was disturbed by a sense of something amiss. Striding to the left side of her alcove, she accessed a panel of which only she was aware. As her humanity had begun to reassert itself, she had undergone changes of which nobody else was aware. The first, and to her most disturbing, was the appearance of dreams.
Within the first year, the dreams had started as simple loops of images, obviously purged from her eidetic memory into her human brain. Her brain would display the events in cycles. After this had occurred several nights in a row, she consulted the Doctor, describing how the images of failures then successes would repeat during her cycle. He, of course, scanned her and her alcove for any malfunctions. When he found none he declared with some delight that in his opinion it was a growth of her humanity. In fact, he thought it was wonderful that her progress had brought her to a point where her 'subconscious' was balancing her psyche even if she wasn't allowed REM sleep like other humans. After all efforts on her part to have her alcoves store the 'data' of these 'dreams' failed, it further supported his theory of this 'advance' in her humanity, much to her initial dismay.
Over the years the imagery had expanded to include things that had not taken place. She never confided that fact to the Doctor; initially because she found it too disturbing, but later because she was not enthusiastic about sharing the sometimes wonderful, if confusing, dreams.
Another change she had undergone, and not shared with anyone, was her realization of her lack of privacy. Two hundred days after she had joined Voyager, she had stepped out of her cycle to face a crewmember who had lost his family at Wolf 359 who was staring at her and subsequently lashing out at her verbally. In hindsight, she realized she hadn't handled the situation very humanely, only logically and emotionlessly stating that she had not been there and therefore it was 'irrelevant' to her. Now she understood why he had attempted to strike her when she told him to cease his emotional displays. She never found it worthy of mention to the Captain or security since he had not harmed her. Two years later she did approach him and offered her apologies and condolences. At the time he did not accept them, but he had since stopped looking at her with the fury and hate that had been present that particular morning.
After other incidents, including finding crewmembers going through her belongings, she had taken measures to insure her privacy and security. First she secured her meager belongings in a container and sealed it with Borg encryption codes. Even if someone wanted to see her things, they would be stymied. Indeed, she believed only three individuals, Tuvok, Harry Kim and Lt. Torres, could break her codes. Those efforts would take days and in the meantime a program of her own design would inform her immediately of the intrusion.
Next she had installed several complex monitoring programs within her alcove. She tied the cargo bay's sensors into the alcove's monitor, enabling the Borg device to be alerted if any weapons became present during her regeneration. She recognized that security forces often carried phasers on their person, therefore it would be inefficient if she was awakened simply by their presence. So her program only woke her if a phaser was unholstered or if a primitive weapon such as a knife appeared within a 5 meter radius of her alcove. Hyposprays couldn't approach her closer than 2.5 meters, and any extreme fluctuation of her bioreadings would eject her from her cycle in case someone tried a foolish maneuver such as choking her. Being Borg gave her the ability to survive such an encounter, nonetheless she wanted to be able to identify any attacker.
Finally, she had set the cargo bay sensors to record all life signs which entered her sanctum and any conversations which took place. All of this data was recorded and analyzed by the alcove's database illicitly as she knew that officially her domain was considered "public" space aboard the ship. Fortunately the Borg database was far too advanced for anyone but herself to understand, and the information she had gleamed had taken up less than a fraction of the space available to her. All analyses had provided her with useful insights. She knew that 33% of those watching her considered her 'angelic', 3% considered her a 'monster', 42% 'beautiful, and 14% just thought she was interesting. She knew which people came for no apparent reason (the Captain, and occasionally Chakotay) and who came regularly to retrieve supplies (Neelix and various engineering staff.)
The captain's late night visits had initially confounded her. After her erroneous encounter where she tried to download Voyager's databanks however, she had believed that the Captain held romantic notions for her. For the longest time she had found that idea comforting. To hold the belief that Janeway could consider her worthy of such attention gave her the necessary peace to overcome other's hurtful remarks.
As she accessed her databanks she was reminded how wrong she had been about Janeway's intentions. It did not help her fragile state when she realized that the captain had observed her almost every night since their encounter. It dawned on her that she had not checked her data in a while, so she perused the accumulated information before concentrating on the previous night's recordings. She frowned when she realized that Janeway once again appeared in the late night hours, recorded as stationary in front of her dais. Unbeknownst to herself though her features lit with a smile when B'Elanna entered. From there, the sensor data became confusing. Tapping a long code into the console, a panel retracted revealing an area specially designed for her left hand, which she lay down-- her assimilation tubules extended into nearby portals. Closing her eyes, she 'viewed' the entire scene through her cortical array. She gasped as Janeway hit the deck, then smiled as B'Elanna whispered into her ear. Snickering as the water was dumped upon the Captain, her heart grew full with gratitude for the Klingon's actions. In the end though she was troubled by the Captain's parting words. Retracting her tubules, she sealed the panel and station, turning to her dressing area to prepare for her shift. As she dressed she pondered what she should do with the knowledge of last night's events.
~~~~~
Later that morning found the senior staff meeting in the conference room to go over the details of the previous day's attack. Seven studied the tactical data in her PADD from Tuvok's report while waiting for the others to arrive. As a matter of course, Seven and Tuvok were the first present in the conference room. The Vulcan was absorbed in a security report and had only politely acknowledged her after her entry. Shortly thereafter, Chakotay entered, followed by Ensign Kim and Lieutenant Paris. The Doctor came in and seated himself, glancing at Tuvok, then busying himself with a new opera he was thinking of performing. When B'Elanna finally entered, Seven found her heart-rate increasing and could not seem to stop a small smile from answering the smile that the Klingon had instantly favored her with as she gazed across the table. Before Seven could talk to B'Elanna however, the Captain entered the conference room with purposeful strides beginning the meeting.
"Good morning, people. Let's get this meeting started. Seven, what can you tell us about the species that attacked us yesterday and why was there no mention of them in your reports of this sector?" The Captain fired off her questions before she had even finished sitting down.
Raising her eyebrow slightly in surprise at the Captain's brusque manner, Seven began her report. "Species 9763. An unremarkable race the Borg considered unworthy of assimilation. The Llannari, as they are known, are primarily a species who steal technology and resources. They tend to stay within their own system, not seeing any reason to explore except for missions to 'acquire' new resources. For example, their cloaking technology was stolen from species 9644, the Nguener, who were their neighbors before the Borg assimilated that species."
"The Llannari had already spent many years raiding the Nguener race, who were a predominately peaceful race that had achieved a level of scientific in advancement similar to the Vulcans. Since the assimilation of the Nguener race the Borg recorded Llannari movements without concern. They travel in small groupings of scout ships or pairs of larger battle cruisers, although the Borg had never recorded their travels taking them this far from their home planet. "
"Their attack strategy is very simple. They remain cloaked, taking readings and assessing weakness in shields and deflectors. When they are ready, they batter a hole in the shields then they transport directly to the engine room. This allows them to take over the ship with minimal loss of resources. Prisoners are sorted according to their usefulness. Those deemed useless become slave labor or food."
Chakotay looked up from his PADD, "Perhaps without advanced neighbors to prey on they have had to reach further out?"
"That is possible Commander," Seven stated.
"Well, what I want to know is how you intend to fix these weakness they obviously found, Lt. Torres," the Captain growled while glaring at B'Elanna, surprising her staff with her obvious rancor. Even Tuvok raised his eyebrow high on his head.
B'Elanna was actually unsurprised by the attack and answered calmly. It was becoming clear that Janeway had a lot less honor than she had given her credit for all these years. "Obviously out first priority will be to protect the deflector array or else they will be able to continue to board us. I'd like to consult with Seven on the possibility of setting up a modulating shield system and maybe a cloaking system over the array.."
The Captain scowled, "Do you think you are even capable of implementing a cloaking system?"
Seven was getting very irritated with Janeway at this point. She wasn't sure but it seemed that the attacks on the Lieutenant were a direct result of the conflict of the previous night and had nothing to do with ship's business. "Captain, I approached you last year with an idea of how to disguise and cloak all of Voyager so it would look like nothing but solid duranium throughout and you told me it was a waste of resources. Indeed, I have had the ability to help upgrade our systems to many species' designs of cloaking technology and you have always indicated it made you uncomfortable, reminding you of Romulans."
Tuvok observed the jumping vein in Janeway's temple and decided it was time to refocus the meeting. "Captain, I believe it would be prudent to review all available cloaking technology available to us in regards to what is immediately feasible. With your permission I would like to meet with Seven and the Lieutenant to review what is tactically sound."
Appreciative of the out she had been given and saving face, Janeway replied directly to him. "Do it, Tuvok. Lieutenant Torres, I expect a report on all proposals by the end of the day."
The meeting proceeded with a modicum of normalcy after that. When it was over Janeway dismissed everyone, surprising them all again by being the first out of the meeting and directly handing the conn to Chakotay to disappear into her ready room.
~~~~~
As the rest of the senior officers began leaving the conference room, B'Elanna captured Seven's attention and strolled over to sit next to the former drone. "Hey, how are you feeling today?" the half Klingon asked somewhat shyly. She wasn't sure when she had ever felt as nervous and giddy to be alone in somebody's presence before.
"I am functioning within-- I am fine jonwI. Thank you for delivering me to the sickbay," the Borg replied with a small smile.
"Seven…" B'Elanna began to say, only to be interrupted.
"Annika." The blonde interjected.
"Annika? I thought you didn't want anyone to call you that?" the engineer asked.
"Initially I didn't because I did not desire to be away from the Collective, and believed I would return. After a time, I would not allow anyone to use my human designation because I did not believe any of Voyager's crew saw me as human, only Borg, and I did not want to be treated as Borg under my human name. Seven of Nine was my designation, but Annika is my name. Few people understand that. I would like it if you called me by my name." Seven said most of this looking down at the table, lifting her eyes only at the end to see if B'Elanna understood. When the engineer inhaled deeply and smiled tremulously.
B'Elanna took Seven's hands in her own. Leaning down slightly while keeping eye contact, she kissed the human hand saying, "Thank you Annika, I would like that. I adore who you are, human," and then kissed the mesh encased hand, "and Borg." Seven's heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest. Before she could get too lost in analyzing what to do, the lovely brunette beat her to it. B'Elanna leaned in and captured her lips in a sizzling kiss, that threatened to consume the blonde with its intensity.
"That's for taking that blast for me and probably saving my life yesterday," B'Elanna said after releasing the blonde's lips and leaning back. "But please BangwI, don't do that anymore… I can't take seeing you hurt."
"And it is unacceptable for me to allow you to be hurt. So I suppose we will have to watch each other." Seven smirked. She sensed that B'Elanna was about to argue the point, so she deflected her attention. "Meanwhile, I believe we need to adopt a plan to cloak the deflector array before the Captain becomes more aggressive with you."
B'Elanna sighed and slumped back in her chair. "I can handle Janeway, dear, but you are right."
"You do not need to 'handle' the Captain anymore after last night, "Seven stated sardonically with a raised eyebrow, surprising the engineer. "I do not wish to have to exterminate her if she threatens you again."
The smaller woman stuttered and blinked. "You know what happened?"
"I am not completely unprotected in my domain. Let us say that my Borg devices serve me well in knowing what occurs during regeneration."
"Well, you shouldn't have to rely on Borg devices Annika! You have no privacy down there. And she has no right to sit and watch you regenerate like some peeping tom." B'Elanna had gotten up and was pacing around furiously, clenching and releasing her fists repeatedly.
The Borg looked down at the table lost in thought. "I know," was all she said. After they had both broken out of their private thoughts, Seven once again prompted B'Elanna's scientific mind with an outline of what they could do to solve the cloaking situation, effectively shelving the privacy issue for later discussion.
~~~~~
After the two of them had come up a plan that they thought was feasible they called Tuvok into the conference room. He reviewed their ideas, seeking clarity on a few points occasionally, as some of the schematics were more advanced than even his scientific mind was accustomed. Once he understood the plan he was impressed.
"How long will it take to implement the changes Lieutenant?" he asked, hoping to clear the last hurdle. In order for it to be an effective strategy, it must not leave them hanging in space too very long.
"I think we can have all repairs complete and the upgrades online within 32 hours if I'm allowed to pull in my staff for double shifts. The most complicated part is obviously the hull work, but I think Seven and I could lead two teams of three engineers and have them done within a few hours each." She looked up at Seven for confirmation of this as she spoke and was satisfied when the former drone simply nodded her agreement.
"Very well. I will present your report to the Captain and stress that I think it would be an efficient plan. Please continue the other repairs until I contact you." Tuvok stated succinctly.
The lieutenant stood and began to exit the room, stopping at the door when she realized Seven wasn't following her.
"I will report to engineering shortly Lieutenant. First, I must speak with Commander Tuvok." Seven said.
B'Elanna felt some trepidation at what Seven would need to consult with Tuvok about, but did not allow it to show. Instead she smiled and told her to show up when she was done.
The Vulcan raised his eyebrow in a subtle signal of inquiry as Seven began to organize her thoughts. It was a most difficult situation she had found herself in, and she had no desire to burden her Vulcan mentor with these emotions, yet he was the only person to trust.
"Commander, I must seek your advice," she finally stated as the silence had grown thick.
"Indeed. I take it this advice is not ship's business?" Tuvok asked.
"Actually, it began as a personal issue, but has begun to effect ship's business… much to my dissatisfaction," Seven answered with a frown. "I have no desire to bring you into an emotional situation, as I respect your sensibilities. In fact, I have often thought it would have been more desirable to have been born Vulcan. Humanity and its emotions are not an easy adjustment to make after 18 years as a drone. However, I am faced with a situation where I must seek advice, and you are the only person I believe I can trust. Also, you have spent many years among Humans and can more accurately interpret their actions."
Tuvok took three deep breaths, seeking a center to strengthen himself for the oncoming discussion. He greatly admired and respected the former drone. She often reminded him of his daughter with her forthright demeanor, and logical approach to her duty. He was pleased to have the drone seek his advice, even if the subject was to be humanity's illogical emotions. "Please, feel free to begin when you are ready."
Seven sighed and stood, striding over to the transparent aluminum view-ports. For some reason she could not define she did not want to face him directly while beginning this discussion. "Very few on Voyager are aware that my humanity has begun to reassert itself at an accelerated pace. There are physiological components which will always be Borg, but emotionally, and, indeed physically, I have become more human Although some will never notice it, my emotions have already reasserted themselves to the point where I cannot always diffuse them with Borg logical thinking. Indeed, loneliness and the need to mate became an emotional and physical need which I believe led me to the problem I must discuss with you."
"Mating is a physical need within almost all humanoid species. Indeed even Vulcans are not immune to that instinct Seven. We may handle the situation much differently than humans, nevertheless our mating is not any less a biological imperative." Tuvok replied. He briefly wondered if he should discuss the irrationality present during Pon Farr, but that thought was so appalling that it was instantly squashed by years of Vulcan instinct.
"I have researched many humanoid species mating practices, including Vulcans," she said pointedly, dropping that line of conversation altogether after that, respecting the Vulcan's privacy. "Unfortunately, this… human body" she sneered while waving her hand towards herself, "has hormonal urges more than once every 7 years." She stopped there to gather herself and to try to control her emotions. It would not do to overwhelm her friend with an emotional outburst before she could obtain her advice.
"I was initially successful in deflecting these physical needs with work, and exercise. Later, when my mind would not allow work, I endeavored to find distracting hobbies. I was still left with unmet desires, but I believed that my status as a former Borg would preclude anyone aboard Voyager from finding me as a suitable mate. Indeed only one adult ever regularly sought out my company as a friend: Captain Janeway." She paused and collected her thoughts, not wanting to continue to disclose her mistakes, but knowing that the Vulcan would need all the facts for a logical assessment. "As we began our last shore leave, my physical needs became overwhelming and I sought a solution within the holodeck. It was a distasteful idea from the beginning to me, but I felt I had no other option. The cargo bay is not exactly conducive to privacy in any respect." She stopped, feeling utterly embarrassed. Gathering her courage, she finally continued. "As I was… engaged with a holocharacter, Captain Janeway overrode my security lockout and entered my program. I have known for a long time that the Captain had little regard for my privacy. Indeed, she watches me regenerate on a regular basis. Nonetheless, I was overcome by my hormones, and the possibility that the Captain might desire to take me as a mate. Since she had interrupted me I approached her and asked her if she would make love to me."
At this point Tuvok was fighting shock as his eyebrow tried to crawl off his head. He had not expected such a rash decision by the former drone. Unfortunately, he had a good idea where this might lead. He had known the Captain longer than anyone else aboard Voyager after all. Their long time association had granted him more knowledge of the charismatic human than anyone else aboard Voyager.
"I am embarrassed to admit she acquiesced to my request, but I was mistaken in her intent. While I believed we might begin a relationship, it was simply what human's call a 'one night stand'. I think this is a misnomer since she excused me from her quarters in less than four hours. Initially I was distraught to know that someone I had considered a friend and mentor, indeed I believe I could have loved, had used me. Nevertheless, she had made it clear that we could not let that night affect our work upon Voyager, and I was able to clear my feelings and focus on my duty." The blonde paused her monologue to gather herself for the next part. It was less embarrassing, but more disturbing.
The Vulcan was digesting all of the information, looking for clues that perhaps the worst had happened. While hoping it had not, he knew he was the only one who could recognize her affliction. Distasteful as it was, duty and friendship required his vigilance. It was after a long silence that he prompted her to continue. "Am I to infer that this situation has further eroded since you are discussing this with me?"
"You are correct. I have discovered that the Captain has continued to disregard my privacy and continues to watch me during regeneration, as if she believes she has a right to do so. While I have known of my vulnerability during regeneration for quite some time, all other invasions of my privacy have not disturbed me to this extent. I had implemented what I believed to be enough security to protect from attacks, but I cannot protect myself from the Captain's voyeurism." The former drone was interrupted by the security chief.
"There are crewmembers who take advantage of your unconscious state? Why did you not report this?" The Vulcan was disturbed by the idea of Starfleet personal acting so unprofessionally, but even more so by the idea that his security was insufficient for protecting a crewmember.
"I did not believe that the situation could be changed. It was obvious to me when I began to understand my place upon Voyager that I was not regarded as a human, but instead as a piece of machinery which could be stored away when not in use. As I said, I implemented my own security protocols within my alcoves to ensure that I would not be physically harmed. Verbal and emotional outbursts from the crew directed at me in the Cargo Bay I handled as best I could and removed myself from irate crewmembers presence quickly. I apologize for not bringing it to your attention, but I truly believed the Captain would not change my situation as she benefited from my placement."
"I see." He paused, reflecting briefly on the logic the blonde used to reach her conclusions. "What are the security measures you implemented?" He asked warily. He was worried the perhaps the former drone had set up some sort of weapon to handle attackers. She began describing her programs and his fears were allayed. In fact, he was impressed with the whole system. It was efficient, and non-intrusive, without draining Voyager's systems; yet it had provided her with some relief. Yet, he was still dismayed for not realizing his failure to secure the woman before now. It was a situation he vowed to resolve immediately. "You have not yet asked my advice. Should I presume you need me to help with Captain Janeway's… presence?"
"It is more than that I am afraid. I would like my privacy guarded against her, but I find myself unable to confront her. Beyond that, the situation became more dire last evening," Seven responded. She explained the changing nature of her relationship with the lieutenant, and then detailed what had happened the night before. "I believe this situation could quickly escalate out of control. I would find it unacceptable if the Captain goaded the Lieutenant into an attack since it would interfere with the relationship I would like to explore with Lt. Torres. I have no desire for them to fight over me. I would prefer the Captain to leave me alone since she already dismissed a relationship. Yet, I have no power to persuade the Captain in this matter. Therefore, I am seeking your advice."
"I understand. Since the Captain did not report the attack, and officially there are no witnesses, I will not pursue the assault. Indeed, I believe it is surprising the Captain Janeway has only now suffered any consequences for this situation. Will you let me contemplate a solution for a while?" On her affirmative nod he continued gravely. "I will also personally make sure she does not invade your privacy until a solution has been reached. Is there anything else I should know?" She shook her head wearily. He stood and they proceeded to leave. The blonde halted shortly before the doors.
"Commander, I appreciate your help," the former drone stated stoically
"Of course Seven. I am also grateful that you have handled this situation so logically and brought it to my attention instead of turning elsewhere. We will resolve it together… logically. Also, I believe that you would be well served to undergo study of the Kya'shin. It would supplement your grasp of logic as well as give you a chance to further understand your new emotions. It would be an honor if you would allow my to be your guide."
She raised her brow, surprised by the offer. "I would like that Commander."
"See me again when you know your schedule, and we will begin your training," he told her and left the room.
~~~~~
After leaving the conference room, Tuvok proceeded to the Captain's ready room. He delivered Lt. Torres report and supported her ideas. Studying the small human before him, he would have been alarmed at her negativity towards the lieutenant, had it not been for Seven's timely insights. Nevertheless, it was an extremely delicate matter before him. His sense of duty was many-fold in this situation. He genuinely enjoyed the company of this human, she was a universal conundrum, an outstanding study of humanity's spirit. Indeed, over the years she had become what he would consider a friend. He also knew his role within Starfleet, and more importantly aboard Voyager. Voyager would not be likely to make its return to the Alpha Quadrant without this enigma of a Captain. She was the heart of the ship, fairly or unfairly.
Finally, he felt the golden touch in his heart of Asil, his daughter, when he thought of the troubled young woman who approached him earlier. He had never been able to qualify why Seven reminded him of Asil. Perhaps he had been among humans too long and had become inordinately sentimental. Nevertheless, the Borg had reminded him of home in this way from early on, and he was therefore as defenseless in his musings of her as his daughter had always left him. They both had inescapable intellect, and discipline, yet both could turn the unfathomable tide of an emotion into something desirable, and make him want to understand in a way not even T'Pel accomplished.
In the short meeting he secured Janeway's permission for the upgrades. They discussed briefly strategies on defending against the Llannari raids. Meanwhile, he had observed the Captain surreptitiously. He was quite sure of his conclusion. It was occurring again. However, before he would implement the solution, he needed the final proof. That was a small matter. After she dismissed him, he would gather the necessary equipment for his studies, and could have a final analysis by the evening.
~~~~~
A wave of nausea rolled over her body after she looked up at the stars. 'Kahless, Torres! You know better than to look up!' She berated herself. Picking up her boots slowly, she made her way over to the aft section of the deflector array. Her team was installing the necessary circuitry and new manifolds for this section of the new cloaking system. If she were to look to the fore of the array she could probably see Seven's team, but her space-sickness made that idea unappealing. Instead, she placed her equipment beside the next panel. As she was installing the circuit she tried to occupy her mind with anything other than the fact that she was outside the ship. The comm. link inside her suit allowed her to listen in on her teams conversations. Apparently, Harry and Tom were planning a party in the holodeck for the next week based on an Old Earth festival called 'Woodstock'. It had something to do with 20th century Rock-N-Roll from what Nicoletti was saying. It was Nicoletti doing most of the talking, trying to pump her teammate for information on how to ask out a mutual acquaintance that he knew better.
B'Elanna rolled her eyes, grinning at Nicoletti's enthusiasm for the party. It dawned on the half-Klingon that she hadn't had cause to be nervous about asking someone out in a long time. Just a couple of months ago she would have been expected to go to the party with Tom. By now, he would have driven her crazy, making her listen to all the music he wanted to play. Not that she disliked the music, but he could be relentless about it, not to mention obsessive. Now, though, she wasn't even in the loop. That certainly didn't bother her. She didn't really feel like attending a party of his. It would be better if they had their space, and he got on with his life and left her alone. She still wanted to choke the bastard for his drunken rantings that day in the corridor, but Seven had convinced her to leave him alone. Harry had apologized too, even though she certainly didn't see why he should, but it had made her feel better to know that he was still her friend too. Maybe one day she would be able to be friends with Tom again, but she wasn't going to hold her breath on that one.
Completing the circuit, she broke in on Nicoletti's chatter and got a brief on her team's progress. She shook her head when the ensign abashedly reported they were all done and just waiting for her. Evidently her team had no idea that she had handled half of the workload on this section while they talked about the party. She knew she should probably confront the two, bring them in line and admonish them, but she decided that it wasn't a big deal. After all, it was her orders that had her entire department working double shifts over the last two days. They deserved to slow down some and relax now that it was almost over.
Seven reported to her as she was double checking her team's work. "Lieutenant Torres, beta team installation is complete. We are ready for testing when you are."
B'Elanna smirked. Seven refused to call her B'Elanna in front of her staff. It was surprising to find that essentially Seven was very shy. Of course she knew that the woman had gotten badly burned in her last romantic attempt, so B'Elanna was taking it slowly. Still, the Borg's absolute professionalism around her staff was so different from her and Tom's interactions that she was left a little off balance, but pleasantly so. "OK Seven. We're done here too. Let me get Harry to bring it up."
After a half hour of tests outside, they determined that the cloaking was effective and 100% operational. The teams gathered together and beamed back aboard the ship. Afterwards B'Elanna released them, telling them that after they properly stored the equipment and suits they should consider themselves off duty until their next regular shift. Seven was waiting for her in engineering once she had stowed her suit. Together they began a series of automated diagnostics that would run through the night as the final test.
"Annika, would you do me the honor of joining me for dinner?" B'Elanna asked formally with a big smile after they had everything complete and everyone in her department had their assignments.
The former drone smirked and raised her eyebrow. There was no reason to ask of course. They had been dining together every chance they had gotten for a while, and Seven was always happy to join the engineer. However, the smaller woman seemed to be in good spirits now that the upgrades were done, and Seven assumed that was why she was acting this way. "I will comply," the blonde replied with a smirk, and together they left.
~~~~~
An eerie green glow flickered, casting shadows over the two women. Neither of them registered his presence; one too involved in unknown mental wanderings, the other unable although she would most certainly be recording their appearance. Withdrawing the modified tricorder, he took his readings. As expected, the data was merely a confirmation. It was almost a relief; if the data had not supported his conclusions, he would not understand the red-headed woman before him. He had been in her company for years, had studied her behavior, they had been through much together over a span of more than a decade. Closing the tricorder, he attached it to his side then strode forward slowly to stand near his captain. The time had come. He cleared his throat lightly, and she spun, straightening to her normal mien.
"Tuvok! You startled me. What brings you down here old friend?" Janeway asked.
"Actually, I came to find you." An economy of words, so fraught with meaning. He always found these situations intriguing; to stand at the precipice of change and face it with lucidity. "There is a matter of great import we must discuss." She raised her chin, eyes questioning. "Privately." He clarified.
"Very well, Tuvok. After you," she gestured to the door.
Neither of them conversed on their short journey to the turbolift. He called out for the deck where he resided and ignored new questioning glance, preferring silence until they arrived at his quarters.
"May I offer you a refreshment Captain?" He asked after lightening a ceremonial lamp which rested on the low table situated in the center of his living room. She shook her head and continued giving him a questioning look. Large pillows rested upon the floor on each side of the table, and he held his hand out to indicate she should sit across from him.
Finally, she impatiently broke the silence. "What brings you in search of me this late at night Tuvok?" Her gaze was imposing.
"Your Kae." It was a simple answer. She should know what he meant. "You must undergo another Kae'k'akkayam."
She leapt to her feet and paced before him. "No!" She threw the word, the denial at him like a weapon. "My mind is fine. I need no retraining. It is gone, and you do not need to do this again!"
It was as he expected. The resistance was natural. She would resist if she were herself as well, but not like this. If it wasn't necessary she would laugh at him, that deep rich laugh that was so uniquely hers. It was the duality that caused the anger; the addiction that caused the tension.
"Please, Captain… sit before me. I will let you examine the evidence for yourself." He was absolutely calm. When she sat he extended a PADD containing Seven's sensor data and his observations. Then he unclipped the tricorder from his person and lay it before her, open, with the readings he had taken on display. After she had its contents, the redhead sighed dejectedly. He watched the strong woman carefully. The set to her shoulders disappeared and she slumped. He waited patiently for her to finish. Finally, she picked up the tricorder. After a moment she lay it back down, then folded her hands in her lap, staring at them. He observed her for a time, watching as a tear began its journey down her face.
"Damn." One simple word was all she uttered. Her summation of the awfulness of the reality before her. Her accession to his evidence. It was a testament to her strength, and he was encouraged by the relative ease in which she had accepted the knowledge. Finally she met his eyes. "When can we start?"
"Immediately would be best," he answered. At her nod, he rose from his position and came around the table. Arranging a cushion to face hers, he resumed his position facing her. They began a meditation and after a time he reached over and grasped her head gently, positioning his fingers over the correct channels. He stared deep into her blue-gray eyes and opened a psychic link. He began the mind meld.
Reliving her experiences through her, they appeared together in the chambers in her mind. They were unnoticed third parties, able to pass through her memories like wraiths, yet able to see each other. Every mind had a flavor he knew. He was familiar with hers from the last time they had been here. He was still impressed by the clarity; the way the ground they stood upon was so solid, even if the walls and boundaries sometimes blurred. The heart of her mind was always the command center of a ship, yet the view port showed endless rows of corn kissed by the terran sun.
"Where do you believe it began?" he queried gently.
The scene shifted, and together they appeared in the cargo bay. She was outside herself, watching herself watch the Borg who had become her friend. He could feel the emotion of the moment, knew instinctively the timeframe. She had returned to watch the blonde after reprimanding her for returning a member of species 8472 to a Hirogen hunting party.
"Why are you here?" he asked.
"She's beautiful," she replied softly, her voice tinted with awe. "I've never known anyone so strong, yet so fragile. She's the only person on board whom I can not control. I realized I was captivated by her that night. I was furious that she had disobeyed me, released the captive to the Hirogen ship, yet I was impressed… no, satisfied by her need to do what she believed was right, consequences be damned. I began coming too often. Almost every night, for a while." This representation of her self crossed her arms and sighed disgustedly at the watcher.
"Tell me about the encounter. Why did you let it happen?" Before Janeway realized her mind had shifted to the holodeck. Tuvok and Janeway stood to the side and watched the memory self enter, then stare in shock. "How did you get in?"
"I overrode her privacy codes," she responded shamefully.
"You violated her from the beginning," Tuvok stated
"Yes," she whispered, pained.
"Why?"
"I didn't think she would care. It didn't occur to me she might be involved-- in this." Janeway answered, her voice cracking. The scene seemed to slow down as they watched the blonde and the hologram. Janeway's mind was cloyingly thick with jealousy and desire.
"So you had not considered her rights. You expected her to want humanity, but at the pace you prescribed? Did you ever ask?" His tone was still flat, emotionless. She shook her head, miserably.
The actions of that night continued in front of the two of them. They listened to the brief dialogue. He could feel her desire, so very primal, growing at an accelerated pace. He recognized the point when Janeway was lost to her Eros as the details of the holodeck blurred, everything being lost to the passion.
Once the couple started materializing out of the holodeck, Tuvok found himself in her bedroom. The scene was passionate, the two women tangled in their desire for each other. Janeway led the young woman in the beginning, tenderly building her up to a point where she could lovingly break through the barrier of her virginity. He observed the present self becoming breathless and crying.
He prompted her memory to expand. "How did it end?" Suddenly, the memory Janeway stood from her bed, naked, leaving an equally naked Seven of Nine in the bed. He watched her recommend a shower, then leave the room. "You just excused her once you were satisfied? How did you expect her to follow your orders after that?"
Once again the scene shifted before him. They listened to the Captain tell the Borg how much she enjoyed the evening. How it could never happen again. "Voyager is my only true love." The blonde flinched. The conversation carried on very briefly after that, then rigidly the former drone excused herself, leaving the redhead alone yet smiling on her couch. Shortly thereafter she fell asleep right where she sat.
"You did not see her pain?" Tuvok asked the present self next to him, who was staring at the door.
"I was too elated. Not only was it the first real sex I had had in years… It was probably the best I had ever had in my life. At the time all I could think was how she was like the finest gourmet meal, and I was satiated after starving." Janeway trailed off.
"And now?" he asked simply.
She lowered her head. "Now I see how badly I hurt her. I thought her breath caught as she was leaving because maybe I wore her out. I was arrogant… full of myself… now I realize she was crying."
"Why do you continue to watch her?" he asked, and the scene shifted back to the cargo bay.
"Because… She's the most beautiful woman I have ever touched. I can't describe how satisfying it is just to see her breathe. Every time I was there I could feel her against me… I could remember what we shared. It made me feel less alone, Tuvok. Stronger. A reward for the ache I've endured each night here in the Delta quadrant."
"So she is your reward?"
"No." Janeway replied sadly. "She is a person… and I am a fool." The scene shifted back to her bedroom. This memory was strong, close. Long arms were wrapped around her back lovingly. Full lips kissed an earlobe nearby. "I believe I could fall 'in love' with you Kathryn." A throaty laugh from the older woman and the redhead pounced upon those full lips with fervor. "I didn't realize then…"
"That she had handed you her heart?" Tuvok asked.
The mind meld continued on like this for hours. Finally, the Vulcan felt they had dug through all of the depths to which the woman had fallen. They had examined all of her interactions with the young woman. Then he asked her about her confrontation with the half-Klingon, and they examined it from all sides.
He finally released his hold upon her head, disconnecting the psychic link in the early hours of the morning. He observed her for a short while. She appeared more fragile now. Not unlike the last time they went through this together.
"You must remember this Kathryn. It can occur again. Yet, you must balance this with the fact that you were one of the only survivors, and the only one left with your own mind." He only hoped that would give her the strength she needed to survive the next few days without another meld, or worse yet, bringing the Doctor in if she spiraled into depression. "Meanwhile, I believe we must continue our counsel for a while. I must insist you visit me every evening starting tomorrow."
"I know, Tuvok. I have a lot to atone for, and unfortunately I may have destroyed something infinitely more precious than I was aware." She looked up into his eyes. "If only…" She lowered her head again.
He raised his eyebrow curiously. "Yes?"
"I think I could have fallen in love with her too."
~~~~~
The next day, Kathryn Janeway sat in her ready room going over reports while waiting for her chief engineer. She sipped on a lukewarm cup of coffee, then rubbed her temples, trying to stave off the headache that threatened her. She hadn't slept the night before, unable to quiet her mind after leaving Tuvok's quarters. Instead, she brought up ships records and schematics, trying to begin a long process of righting her wrongs. She had very little desire to share these secrets. But at least one person deserved to know. It would make little difference to the woman who would be joining her shortly, so for now, she would stay her hand. Klingon honor mixed with alien illness and Starfleet secrecy. She sighed and thought, not for the first time in the last 12 hours, 'God, what a mess.'
A soft chime at her door brought her out of her melancholy musings. Taking a bracing breath, she cleared her throat. "Enter."
As the small half-Human, half-Klingon swaggered in, Kathryn mused over their interactions over the years. They had started out on shaky ground, this fiery young woman at the time determined to distrust everything Starfleet, especially a Captain handing her the position of Chief Engineer. Nobody had to tell Janeway that Torres thought she was setting her up to fail. It was the farthest thing from the truth of course. Janeway needed her to succeed; she needed the Maquis to show not only her associates that they could trust and work with Starfleet, but the Starfleet personnel had to be shown that the Maquis were their equals and also worthy of respect. It took quite some time before the chip seemed to leave the young woman's shoulder. The thing that had helped the most, ironically enough, was the very thing that sealed their command relationship-- allowing the Klingon to engage in a crazy scheme to die. Never would Janeway have believed she would have allowed that, but she did. In the end, the spiritual journey that Torres believed she had made was the impetus for a growth and a turning point. Lieutenant Torres changed that year, and her relationship with her Captain became almost familial. Initially, Janeway and Torres spent many nights talking about her journey. Kathryn never professed to truly understand the Klingon imagery, or believe it, but she understood that it was responsible for a wonderful change in the woman. Gone was the mistrust, and that's what thrilled Kathryn the most.
Now, she looked up and saw not only the mistrust from the first days, but something else in the engineer's eyes. If she had to hazard a guess, she would think it a loss of respect, a lessening of honor. Klingon honor was a serious thing, and even by her own human standards Kathryn knew what she did was dishonorable. How far would that go for a Klingon she wondered.
"Lieutenant. I have a project I wish to implement as soon as possible." The redhead finished her statement by pushing a PADD across her desk, forcing the young woman to look down to take it. "You know the ship's power relays a bit better than me as far as strengths and weaknesses. So I want to know which of these three quarters will be the best suited, or if you believe there to be somewhere better. I'm not inclined to remove someone from their quarters as it would cause more trouble, but if you think it's better…"
B'Elanna was surprised to say the least. The PADD contained a request to come up with a way to move an alcove into private quarters for Seven. "I'm not sure exactly what she would want Captain," the engineer interrupted. "I guess I mean it would depend on how much she sleeps too. As far as the power flow goes the VIP quarters are actually the best. You know that they are the most adaptable… but what would you do about visiting guests? And wouldn't others in the crew resent her getting quarters that size?"
"Frankly I don't care what others in the crew think about that Lieutenant. I will handle that. She has the right to privacy as you know, and it's past time for me to give her that. If anyone has a problem with her, they can see me. And we'll just have to find another way to house dignitaries. It's not like we have had many anyway since we aren't in the Alpha Quadrant on Diplomatic missions. So, if you think that's the best place that's where I want you to begin."
The red-headed woman was calm and clear in her speech, but B'Elanna could sense that there was more. She didn't trust her, and wondered if moving the fragile blonde next door to her was the best idea. It was the best place for an alcove, that's for sure. She was sure she would be able to design a way for the alcove to be hidden when not in use in fact, giving Seven some space from her Borg past when she wanted it. "What does Seven think?"
"I wanted to make sure it was possible before I talked to her B'Elanna," the Captain answered. "I didn't want to hurt her by getting her hopes up and then having to take it away."
B'Elanna snorted. She couldn't believe this woman was telling her she didn't want to hurt Seven. She had already hurt the beauty more than anyone else on the ship. Suddenly the small captain jumped up from where she sat and stared her down.
"I don't need you to believe me, Lieutenant," she sneered. "Just do your job. No matter what you think has happened, you don't have all of the facts. And you don't need them. I am still your Captain and you will respect that and obey me! Do I make myself clear?"
B'Elanna was thrown off guard by the anger and by the questions circulating in her head. What facts was she missing? Seven hadn't told her all of it, not really even much of it, but Torres knew a dishonorable act when she saw it. "Yes, Captain." She stood at attention and stared beyond the woman.
Kathryn sighed. She wasn't handling this well. She wasn't going to tell B'Elanna the story, but maybe she could start to mend the rift between them another way. "I owe her something that I don't owe you. But I do think you should know you were right. My actions were dishonorable. You will never have to fear reprisal for hitting me. qaHIvlaHbe' jItuH" She finished in Klingonese, the phrases she had researched this morning, 'I can't attack you, I am ashamed.' They both froze and looked at each other, both wondering what the other was thinking. Kathryn hoped that B'Elanna would accept it, but knew she couldn't force it.
"SoH Dev. jIlob." 'You lead. I Obey' was all that B'Elanna would give. Normally she should have mentioned honor to a leader. She just wasn't sure she was ready for that yet.
"jIquv." 'I am honored.' The captain replied. She walked away from her desk and faced out the window. "I want you to make this project a priority Lieutenant, but don't discuss it with anyone until I contact you later today. I need to see Seven first myself." She paused. "Dismissed."
B'Elanna wondered once again what to think of all that was happening and what the small woman before her was thinking. Finally, she realized it would have to remain a mystery and left the room.
~~~~~
Lt Commander Tuvok watched the engineer leave the ready room. It appeared that the Captain had done something to resolve matters with the young Klingon. She had entered the office with an angry demeanor, but left the office much later perplexed. In fact she hardly took notice of anyone as she strode across the bridge and into the turbolift carrying a padd. He kept his counsel of course, but decided to inquire later that evening of Janeway as to what happened.
Shortly after that Janeway herself left her office. Chakotay began to rise from the Captain's chair but Janeway just waved him back down. "Sorry Chakotay. I have to attend to some other business. You still have the conn."
His face betrayed his curiosity, but she made no reply. "Aye, Captain." He said then sat back down.
Once aboard the turbolift, she called out for deck six. She was glad for the empty lift while she rubbed at her throbbing temples and inhaled deeply many times. Not really wanting to go through with this next part, she wished for her tub and bed. But her nature wouldn't allow her to procrastinate. The lift opened and she exited to head for Astrometrics. Upon entering, her heart caught in her chest. She wondered if she would always feel this ache around Seven now. She strode up near the blonde and called out her name.
"Captain. How may I be of assistance?" the Borg asked stiffly.
"I need to discuss a few things with you, Seven. Do you need to get someone to cover your post?" The Blonde shook her head in the negative so the Captain straightened her uniform nervously and indicated the door. "Alright, let's go."
A short time later they arrived at holodeck one. The Captain entered a program number and the doors opened. The blonde tilted her head curiously. "I'll explain everything shortly Seven, if you'll just be patient and join me," the redhead stated and entered the program.
They walked together onto a bridge of a ship. Seven could tell it was a Federation Vessel, and as she scanned the bridge her gaze fell upon the plaque naming the vessel the U.S.S. Billings. "Captain?"
"This is where my story begins Seven. This story at least…" She sighed and crossed the deck to sit in her old captain's chair. She indicated the first officer's seat next to her, "Please Seven, come and have a seat." Quickly she raised her hand to interrupt the expected argument. "I know you prefer to stand Seven, but this will not be easy for me, and I don't want to tell you this standing or craning my neck up to look at you."
Seven was caught off guard. The Captain rarely interrupted her like that, and insisted she sit. She braced herself and walked the few steps to the indicated chair, sitting very properly.
"Computer, display planet." Normally, that command would mean nothing to the computer, but this was the Captain's holoprogram and everything was stored as it was 10 years ago. A planet appeared on the view-screen, small and earthlike. "That is the planet my crew and I stumbled upon one day ten years ago in the beta quadrant. We were on a scientific mission exploring a region of space near of several non-traversable wormholes that had been discovered by a diplomatic envoy several months before. Our main goal was to simply plot the wormholes, and leave probes behind to study the phenomena. This planet simply appeared on our sensors one day unexpectedly. The star it orbited, shouldn't have supported it, its make-up was impossible. I decided to take a look into it. Despite Tuvok's warnings, I took a small scientific team and security detail and beamed down to the surface."
"Our team was not expecting any dangers. There were no signs of sentient life, nor any signs of larger life. But shortly after arrival we realized that communications were inoperative, and we couldn't get through to beam out. I knew Tuvok would find a way to get us back. So I instructed my team to make a camp near where we had beamed in and stay close. As the night fell on the camp and we gathered around our fire, one of the sentries alerted us to movement in the nearby trees. Before anyone could even investigate, we were surrounded by what looked very much like an earth animal called gibbons." Janeway tapped out a series of command on the panel of her chair and a life sized holopicture appeared on the bridge.
"We tried warning shots and even stunning the animals, but they continued into the camp undeterred even as we kept stunning them. Very quickly the first sentries were down, and we watched in horror as they were subdued and thrown to the ground. We were trapped and our weapons removed."
"The most chilling thing happened next. One of the guards was taken and laid face down. Then one of the gibbon-like creatures lay atop the ensign's prone body. When the creature opened its mouth at the base of her neck I was sure that she was about to be killed. But it was actually worse. A fist sized creature crawled out of the gibbon's mouth and burrowed into the neck of my ensign. Her screams of pain filled the jungle surrounding us. Then the gibbon got up off of her and walked away a few paces only to fall over. We found out later, that it was dead after that." Janeway stopped and collected herself. It was never easy to think about this story, and she hadn't had to tell it to anyone in a decade.
"I tried to keep my team focused, and we even tried to reason out what was happening, but the gibbons had gathered us into a group and kept us surrounded away from the ensigns body. She had stopped screaming and passed out, but it was obvious she was still alive… she was still breathing. Also, the gibbons were protecting her… they seemed to be even reverent of her. We figured out that there was a definite order to the 'troop' of gibbons. Their behavior was organized. When one would come over to examine one of us, another would screech at it, almost like a warning and the first would fall back into line to simply watch us. They had taken our weapons, our tricorders, our badges, anything electronic, and had moved us away from the fire. Our only hope was for a rescue from the ship."
"Some time much later Ensign Anderson stirred from the ground. She sat up and shook her head and looked at first us, then the gibbons. One of the larger gibbons near her started singing and waving its arms at her, and surprisingly she laughed. Then she sang back to it, high pitched squeals and grunts that all of our captors seemed to understand. I called out to her and she looked at me curiously, but didn't respond. She went to stand on her hind legs like they did, with her hands dragging the ground, then watched us. Minutes later she stood, shaking her head again. We watched as she seemed to examine her own body and hopped up and down. Finally, she approached our group, and more specifically me."
"You are the leader." "She asked me, or told me, I wasn't sure which. Her voice was different, darker and rougher than before, and the sclera of her eyes were blood red." The redhead shivered before continuing. "I told her yes, and began to ask questions, which she completely ignored. After that she made a high pitched noise and motioned towards me and two of the gibbons grabbed at my arms. I tried to resist being pulled away and my security officers fought as best as they could, but we were overwhelmed by their numbers and I yelled commands for everyone to stop resisting. I was separated from the group and she told me to lay down. I refused, so they forced me down, face in the dirt and in a few minutes the same thing that had happened to her had happened to me. I passed out somewhere in mid-scream."
"When I awoke, I was aware of myself, but unable to control myself. I was no longer alone in my mind. I screamed at the being who had possessed me. I argued with it, over every move he made. He wanted to know everything I knew, but I wouldn't tell him, so he began commanding the gibbons with my body to torture my team. He could see enough of my mind, and live enough of my memories to know that it would work. He wanted to know how to work the phasers. I wouldn't show him. So he picked one up and had one of my security detail pulled from the group, held by his troop. Using my own hands, he tested the settings on the phaser until the young Bolian was dead. I railed against him and cried, but he just laughed… inside my head and with my own voice. Anderson's captor meanwhile was busy exploring her new body. She had taken off her tunic and stripped down half naked. Occasionally she would rub up against me, or she would go over to the other humans and run her hands over their chests. After a while she sang back in that broken pitch language to me, and I actually understood what she was saying. It was some kind of symbiosis; I was learning the gibbon's language, absorbing my captors knowledge, which I knew meant he was probably beginning to understand mine. But he wanted me to speed it up, he wanted me to just tell him what he wanted to know immediately. He was impatient."
"Human" "Anderson pointed to herself and smiled. Apparently she was getting farther along inside the poor ensign's mind than my captor. Of course she had been in possession of her new body longer. She walked back over to the group and pulled out our Biometrics officer. He was a large young human male named Carson Geary. She faced me and sung to me, "For Uhna?" and I understood she wanted his body for her mate. Uhna was another one of these parasites I suddenly knew, just as I knew now knew mine was named Trian. Information was coming slowly, but I still had no control. Trian allowed Anderson, who I realized was controlled by a parasite named Pok, to take Geary. He was shoved down near an older gibbon and the whole disgusting thing started again." The older woman stopped for a short while and swallowed convulsively. Seven noticed that she was decidedly pale. Again, the redhead began her story.
"Three of us were hosts, and one dead, leaving the four remaining in my team in terror. They were talking loudly, trying to come up with a plan to escape, spurred on by the ranking security officer left, Ensign Walters. What they didn't know is that Trian and Pok could understand every word they said. When Walters was about ready to start his plan, Trian walked right up to him and shot him point blank in the head with the phaser set on kill. As the three remaining screamed, I was wailing inside my own mind, listening to my own laugh reverberating through the forest."
"At that moment, the scene changed and the three remaining crew started to sparkle under a beam out. My own eyes fell to my hands, still controlled by Trian and I watched as the transport began. A day later I woke up in my sickbay. You'll never know how good it felt to sit up on my own and look down at my hands.. which I had moved." Janeway was actually looking down at her own hands now. "My CMO appeared by my side and examined me, then briefed me. We had lost three that day. Geary didn't survive. It seems that a human male couldn't host the parasite. The three others were fine, leaving me and Anderson. She had not recovered yet and was in the bed next to mine. We had both underwent surgery to remove the parasites. The Doctor felt we were lucky considering it was a major brain surgery. The parasites had wrapped themselves around our brain stems and burrowed into our corpus collosa. But he was concerned about our brain chemistry. Mine was more stable, but Anderson's was completely off. All of her hormones were off balance, and her serotonin levels were off the scale. He wanted to stabilize her before he allowed her to come out of sedation."
"I was released from sickbay a week later, with a clean bill of health. But Anderson remained sedated. We had orders from Starfleet to mark the planet with a warning buoy, and return to Starbase Deep Space 12. On the way I was examined by our counselor, and she ordered me to regular sessions. It was a 7 week journey back to base. After two weeks, my CMO called me down to the sickbay to be there when Anderson was awoken. It wasn't good. She had a split personality. Pok was still there and sometimes controlled her, but at other times she was herself. After a thorough examination, he found that she had been changed on a genetic level. Then he examined me and found I now I had some of the same genetic traits. My base DNA had been altered, just slightly. He had no idea why I had escaped Trian's personality, but hypothesized that it was because I had been a host for a shorter time. It turns out that they had operated on me six hours before they even began on her. So she had the parasite for probably fourteen hours longer than me." Again the redhead shivered, and this time she actually wrapped her arms around herself as she stared at the view screen and the planet.
"Through the Pok personality we learned a lot about the parasites. They hadn't originated on that planet, they had been exiled there hundreds of years before. Their original hosts were long dead, so they had migrated into the closest primate the planet had offered. The planet itself was placed there by the species in a place that was thought to be so remote that no one would ever find it. There were a total of around two thousand exiles living in the gibbon-like creatures of the planet. Pok couldn't translate his species name, our even tell us about his home world, as he claimed it was in another dimension of space. Their society had dumped them on the planet over time, and their symbiosis allowed the primates to flourish. But our landing had given some of the more ambitious ones the idea to try to escape, to live in a higher life form again." Another pause and Seven was left digesting all she had heard. Nothing from her Borg mind remembered this part of Federation history. Of course the Borg would have deemed the parasitic creatures as unworthy of assimilation, so maybe it was discarded data.
"Anyway, my personality was almost completely unchanged. At least to everyone else. I had noticed though that there were some strange desires that I couldn't remember from before… most notably my sexual appetite. When we had arrived at DS12 and were accorded leave I went on an unprecedented tear through the station, spending almost two weeks moving from partner to partner. After that the ship was stifling me. I was even contemplating sex with one of my officers, which is something I had never done. Desperate for answers, yet wanting my privacy, I asked Tuvok to help me. When he opened a psychic link with me, he could feel the remnants of Trian strongly. He became my lifeline and cure. I spent many nights in his quarters studying my mind, my Kae with his help, and undergoing a Vulcan process called the Kae'k'akkayam, or mind retraining. It worked fairly well and I knew I could always count on Tuvok to keep an eye out for Trian's faults, or my new sexual addictions." The older woman turned and looked into Seven's eyes. The blonde noticed that Janeway was actually on the edge of tears. "You are my first failure in nearly a decade. Actually, I think what I did to you, is my greatest failure."
The normally energetic woman seemed to be only a fraction of her normal self when she rose from her chair and paced away from the hologram of the gibbon. She stopped finally in front of the view screen and planet. "I'll never be able to forgive myself for what has happened Seven. I have always tried to help you on your path to humanity, but somewhere along the line the part of me that I thought was gone… Trian's part of me… found you to be the greatest temptation." Her shoulders slumped and she turned back around and moved back to her chair. "You came to me innocently. I probably even had led you there without knowing it. I never knew you realized I watched you sometimes. I never knew you could see I loved you more than I should one of my crew. And yes I had begun to love you, but I thought there would be time… long in the future, maybe if we made it back home for me to tell you that." She sighed. "But when you asked me to teach you about physical love, I taught you a different lesson I never wanted to teach you myself. I taught you the pain of heartache." The two women looked at each other through tear filled eyes. "You deserved better. I'm so terribly sorry." Janeway whispered and raised her hand two wipe a tear away from the stoic blonde's face.
Seven was bombarded by emotions. It was confusing and overwhelming. She didn't even know how to begin to process through it all. She certainly didn't know what to say. This woman seemed so much like the woman Seven thought Janeway to be. This was the woman she had thought she had loved. Once again when she thought she had a grasp on her emotions for this human, she had changed and left Seven feeling lost. It must have shown on her face.
"Don't worry Seven. I don't expect you to say anything. You don't owe me anything. But I owed you an explanation. I owe you much more than that. I'd prefer it if you kept the details that I just told you to yourself though, mostly because that whole incident is classified… the Federation determined that the knowledge of the parasites was too risky in the wrong hands. As much as I didn't want to have to go through the Kae'k'akkayam again with Tuvok, I am in your debt for talking to him. You somehow went to the only person who could help me, before I lost it all. I truly believe if the Trian part of my mind ever gets too powerful, I'll lose my ability to command." Janeway frowned as she followed that thought to its conclusion in the Delta Quadrant. Shaking off that line of thinking she cleared her throat. "I think I owe you one last thing. If I had been in better control of myself all this time, I would like to think I would have realized by now that you need your own quarters. Therefore I have assigned Lt. Torres the task of fitting one alcove into the VIP quarters. I discussed it with her this morning to determine which of the available quarters would handle your alcove's power needs the best upon Voyager and it was concluded that you'd get the best." She finished that with a wry smile. "I think you should probably help her with design and placement. Don't worry though I'm pretty sure she'll want your help on this project."
The Captain stood and this time Seven followed suit. Janeway called out for the computer to end the program. "I think you should go down to engineering now and see what B'Elanna may need."
"I will comply, Captain." Seven managed after she found her voice. She turned to leave but paused before taking a step away, turning her head so that she could see Janeway in her peripheral vision. "Thank you, for the explanation… Kathryn. And for my future chance at privacy." Taking a long stride, she was just at the edge of the sensor range of the exit when the redhead answered.
"It was the least I could do. And Seven? I hope that maybe one day you'll be able to consider me a friend again," she said so softly as to almost be a whisper, and Seven actually turned to look in her eyes and dipped her head before leaving.
Continued in next part ....