Chapter 5 added on 21 Dec 2001
Disclaimers are in part 1.
Rating: PG13
She was cold now. Seven had no idea how long she had huddled there in the dark, people had passed her without a glance, though one or two had tossed coins in her direction. At the end of the pier where she now sat there was a small restaurant, the enticing smells from it only serving to remind Seven of her hunger and lack of money. Other than the light from the front door though there was only the moon to shed ethereal illumination onto the cargo steamer behind her, and the wet boards Seven sat on. Now she had no tears left. She missed Kathryn with an ache so profound that she thought she would rip apart, what surprised her though was her ache she felt over B'Elanna's hurtful words. For a moment she had glimpsed the possibility of a friendship, a pursuit still denied to her by many, an it hurt all the more coming from the Klingon, for whom she had a grudging respect if a certain animosity.
"I wasn't mocking you B'Elanna" she whispered to herself, "It just felt good to laugh." Seven curled up tighter against the chill autumn air, wishing for the hundredth time she had paid more attention to where she had run, and she had enough money to just call a cab back.
"I'm sorry" Seven wheeled round at the sound a voice, on her guard against an attack, optimistic that it might be.
"B'Elanna?"
"I'm sorry Seven" B'Elanna emerged from the shadows, heading towards Seven and holding a blanket to add to her thin coat. "I don't like being laughed at" she lowered her head, "I was laughed at for years. When I was younger it…" B'Elanna trailed off as she sat down next to Seven, wrapping the blanket around the blonde's slim shaking shoulders. "Did you try and humiliate me?" she asked hesitantly, knowing Seven would always be brutally honest.
"No." Seven shook her head violently, "I am not that cruel."
"I have been though, haven't I?" The Klingon hung her head further, looking away from Seven. "I felt like I was competing against you; like you succeeding meant I had failed. When I saw you with the Captain I, I realised I'd always be second best, particularly to the only person that ever just trusted me."
Seven looked at B'Elanna, seeing a little of the lost soul she was reflected in the deep chocolate brown eyes opposite her. Seven was still hurt, but "Tired of hurting," she whispered, "I am tired of hurting, and of being alone Lieutenant, this experience has taught me that. I did not attempt to deceive or offend you, or to upstage you or undermine you to Kathryn. She is very proud of you."
B'Elanna tentatively wrapped her arm round Seven's shoulders, pulling her slightly until Seven tilted her body enough to nestle her head on B'Elanna's shoulder. "Thank you for telling me that." Said B'Elanna, "And I promise Seven, I wont pick on you anymore, I never knew you were capable of feeling so much, that you were so human." She trailed off; mortified at her sudden offer of friendship to a 'thing' she couldn't stand the sight of 48 hours ago.
Seven looked up and smiled and grabbed B'Elanna's hand with her human hand. "I want to go home" she said, earnestly, desperately "I do not wish to be here any longer, but, providing you learn to control your temper, I don't mind, I want to spend time with you B'Elanna." Seven smiled gently, allowing her eyes to grow rich with warmth and caring, shading from ice blue to the brightest of sky blues.
B'Elanna nodded, ashamed by the generosity and forgiveness that the Borg had shown her in spite of her behaviour. "We'll figure it out tomorrow" she promised, "Between us it shouldn't be so hard, for now lets go back to the apartment."
Seven stood slowly, her legs a little shaky from exhaustion, both physical and emotional. She extended her hand and B'Elanna took it, maintaining her grip even after Seven had pulled her to her feet. Idly the Klingon realised her thumb was caressing the back of Seven's hand, but since she made no complaint, B'Elanna saw no need to stop.
Together they walked off the docks back down the deserted streets towards their apartment, when by a stroke of luck a taxi appeared, slowing down and rolling down a window.
"Where to, ladies?" the driver asked, pushing his flat cap back on his head to reveal coal black hair and piercing green eyes that regarded them intently. "Its too late to be wandering around." He commented sagely.
B'Elanna grabbed the rear door of the taxi, opening it and ushering Seven in and on to the cool burgundy leather seats, just as her legs gave way. She climbed in herself then lent forward to address the driver.
"118 Nana's terrace, off Blue Square." She said
"Got you love" replied the driver, "I know exactly where you mean."
"What do you mean you know exactly where they are?" barked Kathryn again, impatient now with her first officer's continuing reluctance to reveal the details until the rest of the senior staff were present.
Twenty minutes after his revelation they were all assembled in the conference room, staring expectantly at Chakotay. He smiled, pleased to have figured it out, then he saw Kathryn's look of barley veiled homicide and decided to hurry along.
"Captain, when I found you, you were still in the holodeck."
"Yes" said Kathryn, drumming her fingers on the tabletop, "What does that have to do with anything?"
"You were wearing a robe," commented Chakotay
"Yes" Kathryn stressed the word, really asking what the point was of the question other than to embarrass her?
"Did you take the robe in with you?" asked Chakotay, hoping to hell he'd got this right and wasn't about to make a fool of himself.
"No" replied Kathryn, grinding her teeth audibly.
"So why was she still wearing a robe if the holodecks were deactivated?" Tom burst in excitedly, jumping up from his chair. "They're still on the holodeck, I can get my wife back"
Chakotay grinned, he was slightly miffed that Tom had stolen his thunder, but he had figured it out.
"Right, they're still there, because Captain the robe disappeared when we left the holodeck, I just didn't notice because you were wearing ..." he trailed off, having caught Kathryn's embarrassed blush, "A uniform by then." He recovered, not strictly lying.
"What we need to ascertain is why we have not been able to detect any holodeck activity if they are indeed still there?" Tuvok drew attention back to the problem; if he wasn't a Vulcan he would have been mortified that he'd missed that.
"I guess we run the diagnostics again?" suggested Harry, clasping his hands together, studying them hopefully, as if their interlocking pattern would somehow jar his mind into working.
"We'll tear the whole damn ship apart if we have to." Vowed the Captain, "We've got a lead, get to work, dismissed."
The senior staff filed out of the room again, but this time with heads held high, and new optimism in their step,
"I think this will call for a party" murmured Neelix as he walked out, "A big party, with my speciality purple Miskal fungi cake."
"We'll have only just got them back, do you really want to risk losing them again so suddenly?" sneered the Doctor. The door swished shut behind them and Kathryn sunk, her shoulders slumping, her head coming down to rest in her hands.
"Kathryn?" Chakotay's voice broke the moment and she sat up with a start.
"Chakotay." She stammered, "I didn't know you were still there, I…"
"Its OK." her first officer said quietly, walking over to her and pulling her to her feet, then wrapping Janeway in a gentle but firm bear hug. "She'll be alright." He whispered, "We'll get them both back." Kathryn sniffed and then slumped against him, crying quietly on his broad chest as he stroked her back reassuringly.
"They could be anywhere Chakotay." She said, whispering, "They could be hurt or trapped or even…" she trailed off not wishing to follow that thought through.
Chakotay squeezed a little tighter "I promise, it will be OK" he said softly, leaning his head down so it rested on hers, "I promise Kathryn, I promise."
"The sheet!" exclaimed B'Elanna, sitting bolt upright in bed.
"What sheet?" Seven murmured, burrowing deeper into her pillow, she refused to wake up, she'd only just gone to bed.
~~~~~~~~~~~
\The taxi had dropped them both back at the flat at gone midnight, and together B'Elanna and Seven had entered the apartment, hands still entwined. B'Elanna had surprised her by producing a mug of hot chocolate moments later and a semi-embarrassed comment that "It always makes me feel better to."
Seven had pleaded exhaustion, and after changing into new crisp blue silk pyjamas she had clambered into bed, B'Elanna, wearing a lilac night gown, also in silk, had climbed into bed as well, but had hesitated to turn the light off.
"Seven" she had said quietly, "I know you're tired but I really did want to say I'm sorry again, I'm sorry all of this happened"
Seven smiled slightly, touched by the earnestness of the Klingon's voice and, not holding much with tact or evasive posturing decided to ask the question that had long bothered her.
"B'Elanna" she started, consciously using the Engineers first name, "Why? Why do you hate me?"
B'Elanna sat up right, looking over at the innocent figure in the bed next to her, looking so young and fragile, and she was ashamed. Ashamed because she couldn't deny she had hated Seven, ashamed that she couldn't take back the callously cruel words that had always marked their confrontations. Ashamed because, "I don't hate you Seven, I don't know if I ever really did, I think I hated myself more"
"Why?" asked Seven again, propping herself up on her elbow so she could better see and study B'Elanna's face.
"Because, you're better than me." B'Elanna hung her head, letting the moment fill with silence and anguish, before pushing on to her explanation. "When you came on board, you were smarter than me, more attractive than me but most of all you were stronger than me. You never backed down, you were so self-assured and courageous, after everything you had been through you didn't try to apologise for who you were or make excuses for your behaviour. You gained the crews' respect and slowly their trust and in the end you even took the Captain's heart, something she had never shared with any of us. I knew then that I would always be second best to you."
"But" pointed out Seven logically, "You didn't know about my relationship with the Captain, you showed me as much anger and distrust as you ever have before that information was known to you."
"Yes" agreed B'Elanna quietly, "But that was the final straw, I thought I had one thing you couldn't take from me, one thing you couldn't compete with. A husband, a partner. Then I realised you'd found someone even more special for yourself, and my failure was complete."
If B'Elanna realised she had begun crying during that speech she gave no indication of it. The tears rolled down her face, soaking the top of her nightshirt staining it deep purple. Seven was transfixed, by the pain, by the emotion that the cantankerous and withdrawn Klingon had chosen to share, with her. She made a decision, and climbed out of bed, moving over to B'Elanna's bed, closing the gap that had separated them and sinking down on to the mattress, wrapping her arms round B'Elanna.
"I did care, and I was ashamed" said Seven quietly, resting her cheek on top of B'Elanna's head. "I wasn't brave enough to show it, to fight it to make myself heard, I wasn't as brave as you B'Elanna." She rocked the still distraught engineer in her arms, cradling her supportively, while a part of her brain filed away the sensations of her soft skin, her thick hair smelling slightly of sandalwood, the silk covered breasts rubbing at against her own and sending sparks of sensation through her, the elegant hands entwined with hers. "I do not believe anyone is better than you B'Elanna, least of all me. We are all our own person with no comparison deserved to another, I do not wish you to feel this hurt anymore."
B'Elanna lifted her head slightly, gazing in wonderment at Seven, who looked at her openly, her features half shadowed, her eyes shinning with their own unshed tears.
"Thank you my friend." She said, squeezing the Borg enhanced hand gently, running her thumb over sensitive metal, "I, I like it when you call me B'Elanna" she admitted shyly.
"Then I will continue to do so" vowed Seven.
Seven had eventually climbed back into her own bed, after they had spent long hours talking, about their hopes and ambitions, arguing over music, debating engineering problems, comparing their partners (Kathryn appeared to win in every category). Much of the old hurts that both had held had been swept away that night, as they had found themselves confiding in each other, sharing information and feelings they had been unwilling to express to their respective partners for fear of disregard or misunderstanding. But, finding a mirror in each other where they could see and share their pain.\
~~~~~~~~~~~
Now, after Seven had barely laid her head down B'Elanna had awoken her with her frantic shout.
"What sheet?" Seven repeated
"The one you were wearing" explained B'Elanna, leaping out of bed and pacing along the floor. "It was holographic, but you still had, still have it here! Which means"
"We are still on the holodeck after all!" exclaimed Seven bolting upright.
To be continued....