Disclaimer: The ST:Voyager characters belong to Paramount/Viacom. The author has no rights to anything apart from those characters and worlds of her own invention. This story is written only to entertain those of like mind. It is written entirely for fun and not for profit.
Code: T/7.
Rating: PG
Archiving: Please ask.
Constructive feedback welcome.
Any feedback or other comments should be sent to Kianarch@aol.com
Description: Nicely told story with an original slant.
Captain Kathryn Janeway, Commanding Officer .......
7 Nov 2000
Captain Kathryn Janeway, Commanding Officer of the Federation Star ship Voyager stood at the window of her ready room, coffee mug in hand and gazed at the passing stars. She was so lost in her thoughts she didn't even realize that her coffee had long ago become cold.
She was tired and that not only due to the fact that it was late into beta shift but because of having to listen to Tuvok`s more than detailed report about the last confrontation between her half-klingon chief engineer and her resident Borg.
Janeway knew that she had done a tremendous job transforming her crew from trained Starfleet personnel, maquis convicts and delta quadrant natives into a huge family but the two most important persons aboard her ship, Lieutenant B`Elanna Torres and Seven of Nine, just had to keep fighting.
She had to admit that their formerly violent conflicts turned into something that didn't manifest itself any longer in a physical way but it was still far away from being acceptable. And even worse, she knew it had also been her mistake that the two didn't get along very well. Sometimes she could be so dense!
By tapping her comm. badge Kathryn Janeway finally made a command decision.
"Lieutenant Torres report to my ready room immediately."
B`Elanna Torres sat in her quarters growling into her mug of klingon ale. She was off duty since three hours and the incident with Seven happened about five hours ago. She was wondering what took the captain so long to call and lecture her. She had guessed that she would face the deadly level-ten gaze of Janeway within the next 10 minutes after her pet Borg left engineering. But hours passed and nothing happened.
Now she sat there, trying to occupy herself with some calculations but she couldn't manage to concentrate on the topic at hand. Tommy boy was busy with his holodeck and had certainly made sure that her other good friend aboard the ship, Harry Kim, was with him. Some months ago the pure fact that Tom preferred to spend time with some holo character instead of her would have made her go ballistic but somehow it had changed. Recently she found herself being more comfortable without Tom, and she did not manage to feel sorry about it. Perhaps it was time for a change. She knew that the glow of a new love affair had long ago vanished and she had no idea why she still found herself in this somehow ugly relationship with Voyager`s helmsman. Perhaps it was nothing more than a habit.
Deep down in her hearts B`Elanna knew that she had never managed to really open up with Tom. In fact he was a stranger for her and she was one for him. She couldn`t remember having shared any of her deepest feelings with him, or things that frightened her. He probably didn't even know that she was capable of having fear. Wasn't that what everybody thought? B`Elanna Torres, fearless half-klingon worrier? Hot tempered, intelligent and with self-confidence larger than this galaxy? Oh how they were wrong!
B`Elanna sighed and went to the replicator in order to get another beer. Just then Janeway`s voice cut into the silence of her quarters, sounding somehow distorted through the comm badge.
Without thinking B`Elanna acknowledged the hail and stormed out of her quarters. The moment Janeway`s tired voice sank into her mind she knew it was bad. She had finally learned how to handle an enraged captain but she never managed to cope with that sad and disappointed look in her captain`s blue-grey eyes.
It got even worse when the turbolift doors opened and she almost ran into Seven of Nine. The six foot tall Borg stood erect, hands clasped behind her back, not one single hair out of place. B`Elanna mumbled an unfriendly greeting and turned her back to the former drone. Seven was not responding at all.
The Lieutenant was more than surprised to realize that Seven was about to leave the lift on deck two.
"Hey Seven this is the wrong deck, the captain's ready room is still on deck one. That is where the bridge is, I thought you had a detailed plan of this ship stored somewhere in your Borg mind."
Seven flinched almost undetectably hearing that comment but as always it took her less than a nanosecond to regain her composure.
"I have no need to see the captain right now," she answered with a little puzzlement. "Should I?"
B`Elanna was stunned. Seven was not called to the captain? Had she already been there so that she would now have to deal not only with the captain but also the Borg`s story? Or wasn't Seven to be punished at all? That thought enraged her further but before she could mutter an other hostile comment the doors closed and forestalled her intention.
Captain Janeway raised her eyes the moment Lt. Torres entered her ready room. She made a gesture towards the couch and while standing up asked in a friendly tone: "Would you like to join me in a cup of coffee, B`Elanna?"
For the second time within five minutes the Klingon was stunned. Janeway didn't call me for a coffee party, did she? She silently asked herself while climbing the short flight of stairs to the upper level of the room.
"Uh, sure Captain, whatever you say."
B`Elanna shuffled nervously from one foot to the other while waiting for her commanding officer to join her. Janeway had no problem in detecting her chief engineer's unease and silently smiled to herself. That was a good setting for the little talk she would have with her.
For another two minutes no one said a word and the only sound to be heard was the low hum of the warp core, pounding steadily far away in main engineering. And then the most incredible thing happened. Captain Kathryn Janeway, proud woman and warrior, mother and judge for her crew, conqueror of Borg, Hirogen and Kazon let down her command mask. It was no accident, she did it deliberately. A fact B`Elanna Torres was well aware of. A fact that did not only shock her profoundly but also rocked her deep down in her well hidden gentle soul.
"Lana," Kathryn started to talk while laying a gentle hand on the Klingon`s forearm, "you know you have always been someone special to me, don't you?"
The warmth that penetrated through Kathryn's eyes while they rested on her face made B`Elanna dizzy. She didn't know, she had never heard those words spoken that sincerely but deep down in her twin hearts she knew it anyway. Her head started to move in something that could be interpreted as a yes or a no and Kathryn sighed softly.
"I know Lana, I should have told you that long ago. You are very dear to me, very important. I love to talk with you about many things and your incredibly high intelligence helped me to develop new ideas, to even rethink some of my point of views and find better ones. And sometimes I wonder how you managed to not go insane."
B`Elanna stared at the small auburn haired women in front of her with something between awe and puzzlement. Hell, when did it start that I can't decide what to say or feel or do? And since when does she call me Lana? Not that I want to object.. She wondered.
"I do not really understand what you mean Captain, going insane?"
Kathryn chuckled.
"Call me Kathryn, at least for the moment. This is a talk between friends. And yes, going insane. You are one of the most intelligent persons aboard this vessel and we do not have to discuss that fact," Janeway lifted a hand in order to forestall any comment that could be made "and as we all know we are far away from the alpha quadrant and home." Janeway paused and took another gulp of her coffee before resuming her speech.
"Did you ever hear the comment that the step between genius and insanity is a very small one?"
B`Elanna nodded and Kathryn took some more time to drive her point home while crossing her legs and trying to get into a more comfortable position.
"I concur with that statement in some way. But I think the problem a genius has is that he or she does normally have incredible ideas no one but they themselves understand. I think what makes a genius mad is that they have no possibility to discuss their ideas, to share them…" Janeway trailed off and carefully watched B´Elanna. She smiled when she saw understanding crossing the dark features.
"So the reason that we are not in sickbay yet is because we use to talk to each other," the young woman ended Kathryn's thought.
Janeway surprised her chief engineer again by sadly shaking her head.
"No Lana, and yes. We used to talk about so many things, new ideas… whatever crossed our minds. But at some point in the past we lost that connection to each other. And we both know that point."
B`Elanna averted her eyes and studied her boots while answering.
"Yes. It was when Seven came aboard," she whispered.
Kathryn reached out to gently brush a bunch of hair out of B`Elanna`s eyes.
"Would you care to explain to me what happened?"
B´Elanna was shocked. She should tell the captain what had taken place? Her first reaction was to run away but then she started to think it over. And when she looked into Kathryn's warm and open features her barriers broke.
"I think I … I just got the feeling that you replaced me with her. That I was no longer of any importance to you, my point of view didn't count any more. It was Seven here and Seven there and well, I was so proud that you made me your chief engineer. I knew I was the best but than Seven came along and… well I don't know how to tell it. She is so perfect in every way. She is, forgive me saying it Kathryn, but she is even more intelligent than we are. She is in one way innocent like a child and in an other the most deadly being on this ship. She is stubborn like a targh. And she is beautiful, so incredibly beautiful…"
B`Elanna slapped her lips when she realized what had just come out of her mouth. And than she became mortified by feeling the hot tears that were running down her face. She jumped to her feet and turned to leave but Kathryn caught her by the arm and pulled her into a warm embrace. Soothingly she rocked the proud Klingon in her arms, mumbling soft words of reassurance and maternal love. She allowed B`Elanna to sob freely. The first time in so many years the young Half-klingon had long ago lost track on counting them. She felt warm and loved without restriction and she finally understood that nothing in the world could ever make Kathryn Janeway to not being proud of her, to not stand up for her, to not rescue her from herself or anybody else.
After some minutes Kathryn started to talk again about the matter at hand, not releasing her comforting hold on the woman that was snuggling in her arms.
"I am sorry for failing in showing you that you mean really much to me. And I am sorry for taking so long to understand what the problem between you and Seven is. But you have to understand that the feelings I have for you are in no way diminished by the feelings I have for Seven. I agree with you that Seven is the brightest person I ever met and I think that she needs us even more than we need each other. In fact I think that she needs you B`Elanna. And you need her. I am sure she is a genius and I think you are one, too. Every time I look at the two of you I could not think of somebody else who is so well suited for each other than you are. You have so many things in common and those you do not share complete each other. I am sure that you and Seven could get a lot out of a friendship."
B`Elanna untangled from Janeway and stared at her with wide opened eyes. She could not fight the words; she could not fight the conclusion. It sounded so right. And in this moment of honesty she had to admit that she craved for Seven. That she had craved all the time for the approval of that young, cool and aloof woman.
"I am her, in some odd way. Trapped between two cultures, accepted by neither. Always looking in from the outside and trying desperately to fit in."
She swept away the tears with her sleeve and sank back into the cushions. She suddenly remembered all the fights with the former drone, all the horrible things she had said and now that she didn't deny it any longer she could even remember the look of sadness that sometimes crossed those beautiful narrow features. Those ice blue eyes that were holding no emotion at all tended to darken whenever the Klingon shouted at her. Those ice blue eyes that tended to lit up whenever B`Elanna said something friendly…
"Oh my god, what have I done?" She asked Kathryn, sudden awareness ghosting about her shocked face.
Kathryn kept looking at her with those warm blue eyes, a faint smile passing over her lips.
"You didn't do anything. We all made mistakes. Just try to be aware of her feelings. Don't let yourself be fooled by her borg manner and try to communicate with her instead of shouting at her. You know young lady", Janeway`s voice took on a mother's inflection, "you are good at hiding your feelings but Seven is even better." And almost as an afterthought she added, "did you ever see her smile?"
B`Elanna shook her head.
They spent another few minutes in silence and after B`Elanna regained her composure she stood up and left.
Walking out of the captain's ready room B`Elanna Torres felt like a totally new person. It was as if a heavy weight was finally lifted from her shoulders. She didn't leave the bridge with a special direction in mind, she just walked around the ship, finally finding herself in front of holodeck two. The moment she realized it was not occupied a plan manifested in her mind. She briskly walked in, locked the door with a privacy seal and took one final deep breath.
"Computer give me a holographic projection of Seven of Nine."
With a soft buzz the tall and slender figure of Voyager`s Astrometrics Officer appeared. She stood perfectly still, no life yet present. The hair was done in its usual austere bun, her body wrapped in her blue biosuit. The reflection darkened Seven`s eyes but for the first time B´Elanna did not have the feeling that it meant that Seven was upset.
The next order breathed life into the six foot tall beauty, but B´Elanna carefully avoided to add any personnel files. She would not have hesitated to do so some days ago but now she didn't want to injure Seven`s rights as an individual any more. She stared at the hologram of her formerly most hated enemy for some time before she gave her final order.
"Computer, give me a smile."
Seven`s classic features instantly changed into a warm smile. The young Klingon wasn't prepared at all for the beauty of the sight. And it struck her deep down in her core, her twin hearts, her soul.
In this moment of vulnerability she finally understood what it had been all the time long.
"Oh my god, I am in love. I am in love with Seven of Nine. And the sheer thought of it exhilarates me. The thought of holding her in my arms, protecting instead of assaulting her makes me indeed feel complete."
She took some more moments to look at Seven before leaving the holodeck. A short inquiry to the computer told her that she could find Seven of Nine in Cargo Bay 2, and she headed for the former drones location without any hesitation.
Arriving at the cargo bay she didn't rush in as it was her habit but respectfully pressed the admittance chime. It took only seconds before Seven granted her entrance, looking at her with a mixture of curiosity and puzzlement.
"Lieutenant Torres?" She asked.
And now, while listening intently and even searching a little bit she could hear the warmth in Seven`s voice. Almost undetectable but it was there. B`Elanna than knew what she had to do. She was astounded to realize that she wasn't afraid a bit. The first time in her life she was about to admit that she had been wrong and that she felt true love without fearing her opponents reaction.
Seven did not move at all. She just stood there, patiently and without prejudice, awaiting what the woman she so utterly adored was about to do.
"Seven", B`Elanna started, her voice a husky whisper but clearly detected by the enhanced Borg hearing, "I came to apologize. I am so sorry for everything but most of all for hurting you. Please, give me another chance…" She continued to talk even as her voice broke but Seven stopped her by pulling her in a warm embrace. Not like the one the captain had given her about an hour ago but like one lovers share. They both felt the same thing at that moment, they felt at home. The first touch of their lips came naturally, softly and tenderly.
The last thing Kathryn Janeway did before crawling into her bed was to check for the location of Lieutenant B`Elanna Torres. When she was told by the computer that her chief engineer was currently in cargo bay 2 she smiled and closed her eyes.
The first thing Kathryn Janeway did the next morning was to scan the reports of the night shift anxiously. She didn't really expect to find out about another fight between her heads of engineering and astrometrics but she was smart enough to know that changes didn't take place within the blink of an eye.
The night shift reports all said the same. Nothing unusual at all.
The Commanding Officer of the star ship Voyager leaned back in her chair, a smug smile playing on her lips.
So the siblings finally made their first step towards an understanding. Wasn't that nice? And she, the proud mom, could move on to the next topic at hand, the attempt to revive the somehow limping relationship between B`Elanna Torres and Tom Paris.