Chapter 4 added on 21 Dec 2001
Disclaimers are in part 1.
Rating: NC17
The next few weeks were quiet aboard Voyager. They encountered no hostile species, and there were no major malfunctions in any of the ship's systems. In Engineering they were happy for the opportunity to run diagnostics and do some major cleanup of systems that had been patched quickly and were now in need of more permanent solutions. B'Elanna made sure that her crew worked only the number of hours required by their shifts. She was the only one who worked any overtime at all, and this was by her choice.
She was confused by events the night of the party. She was trying to come to terms with her feelings regarding dancing with Seven of Nine. It was hard enough to admit she felt a friendly affection for the drone, and she was no where near ready to admit, even to herself, that she might be attracted to the beautiful woman. They had worked together on several small repairs, and while they were definitely on friendly terms, neither one of them seemed to able to find a way to address the events and feelings of the night of the party. B'Elanna was angry with herself for being unable to decide what she hated most, that she missed Seven when she didn't see her for several days, or that she was slightly uncomfortable around her new friend when she was in her presence. A small part of her longed to go back to the days when they fought incessantly, at least she knew where she stood back then.
The stagnation in their relationship was hardest on Seven. She was aware that she was attracted to the young engineer. All of her research pointed to the fact that this attraction was the cause of the physiological reactions she had to B'Elanna. She was unsure of how to proceed, unwilling to risk her friendship with the Klingon woman by showing her affection openly. The hardest part, ironically, was that they no longer seemed to have their famous fights. Seven found it extremely illogical that she missed those fights, but nevertheless she did. Perhaps it was because the calm friendliness they now shared seemed somehow less, almost boring, by their usual standards. She longed to see the strong emotions B'Elanna exhibited when she was angry, and was strangely saddened that they were no longer in evidence. She also knew that she didn't really want B'Elanna to be angry with her, she just missed the spark that used to exist between them when they fought. She wasn't sure what was preferable, to be around the Lieutenant and be unable to show her feelings, or to be away from B'Elanna entirely...she vacillated wildly between both extremes.
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B'Elanna was in a good mood. She had just left a breakfast meeting in the Captain's ready room where they had been discussing the diagnostics and cleanup as well as several small projects the Captain wanted undertaken. The Captain was pleased, the ship was running perfectly, what could be better.
She swung through the doors to main engineering, the tune she was whistling died on her lips when she saw the shapely rear end of the Astrometrics officer protruding through an access hatch in the lower part of the bulkhead near the entranceway to the room. She felt her anger flare as she realized that several of the younger crewmen were ogling Seven's, rather obvious, attributes. They were smirking and making comments to each other as they stared.
"Don't you people have something better to do than stand around here and stare," she snapped angrily. "I can certainly come up with a long list of unpleasant tasks if you are running out of work."
The young men had the good grace to look sheepish as they sloped off to find something to occupy themselves with before the Chief made good on her threat.
Seven, upon hearing B'Elanna shout, had started up quickly and knocked her head against the sharp edge of the access panel. She was now sitting on the floor rubbing the back of her head.
"Seven, are you alright?" B'Elanna knelt down beside her friend. "Here, move your hand, let me see."
Seven allowed B'Elanna to gently part her hair and examine the wound, reveling in the feel of the engineer's soft touch.
"Hmm, its not too bad, but you need to go to sick bay and have the doctor run a dermal regenerator over that cut. I think you're going to have a nasty bump there."
"I would rather stay here with you." The words escaped Seven's lips before she could stop them. She felt B'Elanna's gaze and could not bring herself to look the Klingon woman in the eyes. She was certain that B'Elanna would approve neither of the sentiment nor the weakness it betrayed. She felt the engineer's strong fingers hook under her chin and gently, but insistently, lift her face until brown eyes met blue. There was a questioning look in B'Elanna's eyes, and something else that Seven couldn't identify. She was afraid B'Elanna was angry with her, and her fear showed clearly in her fine features.
They stared at one another for a moment and then to Seven's immense relief B'Elanna's gaze was softened by a gentle smile. "Its Ok Seven...Look why don't I walk up there with you.... You never know with a head injury, maybe you shouldn't be alone," she finished sheepishly.
"Thank you B'Elanna."
They sat like that for another minute or so, simply staring into one another's eyes until B'Elanna shook her head slightly and stood up, offering her hand to steady Seven as she rose.
"Hang on a second Seven." B'Elanna walked across the room and had a brief discussion with Lt. Carey, entered something into the main console, and then came back to where Seven was waiting. "Ok, let's get this over with shall we."
They walked quietly to the turbolift and while both of them longed to talk, neither seemed to be able to break the silence. It seemed like a long ride to sickbay.
As they came through the sickbay doors together the doctor looked up from his work. Upon seeing who was entering a concerned look crossed his face. "Good Lord, what have you two done to each other now. I thought you were through with your childish behaviour."
"Relax Doc," B'Elanna interrupted, "Seven just bumped her head and needs a little fixup...I had nothing to do with it."
"That is not entirely true Lieutenant Torres."
"WHAT...B'Elanna's temper flared...I never touched you...."
"If you had not yelled so loudly at the young men who were staring at me I would not have been startled and bumped my head.... Therefore I believe you had everything to do with my current condition."
"Kahless...if that's the thanks I get for trying to help out I won't bother next time." B'Elanna was about to stomp out of the room but stopped as she felt Seven's hand on her arm.
"I am only attempting to tease you Lieutenant...Thank you for defending my honour." Seven stated with melodramatic, mock decorum as she smiled shyly.
"I am never going to get used to this," B'Elanna growled jokingly.
"I feel certain that you will.... adapt...in time."
The doctor interrupted their friendly banter by announcing that Seven was all fixed up and free to go. The two friends lost no time in leaving sickbay. The silence between them was easier now, the tension having been released through their joking. As they entered the turbolift B'Elanna finally mustered the courage to speak. "Listen, Seven, do have anything pressing to do today?"
"I have several long range scans running that do not require my input. That is why I was attempting to help out in Engineering."
"Um, the thing is...I thought maybe you could log off duty for the rest of the day. There's something I'd like to show you. I already told Carey and logged off duty before we left engineering. I guess I was kind of hoping you'd say yes."
"In that case, I believe I will have to say yes."
They stopped by Astrometrics so Seven could ensure that the scans were running smoothly. Everything seemed fine so she logged off duty and followed B'Elanna from the room. They got into the turbolift and chatted calmly until they reached their destination.
"You are taking me to the holodeck."
"Yeah, it's not what you think...I mean, I didn't ask you to take the day off just to play a game or anything."
"I would never make that assumption B'Elanna, I know how seriously you take your work."
They stepped into the holodeck and B'Elanna paused before telling the computer which program to run. "I kind of have trouble talking about myself...I'm sure you've noticed," she began nervously. "So I thought I would show you something that might help you understand me a bit better. Jeez, this is sounding lamer by the minute, maybe we should just forget it."
Seven placed her fully human hand on B'Elanna's arm and softly said "Show me B'Elanna. I wish to see."
"Computer run Torres Beta Phi 2."
The room disappeared and they found themselves standing in a forest. In the near distance Seven could see a fire burning. B'Elanna motioned for Seven to be quiet and follow her nearer to the fire. As they drew closer Seven could see two men and several children sitting around the fire. B'Elanna sat cross-legged under cover of some bushes and motioned for Seven to follow suit. Once seated, Seven could clearly see and hear everything that was happening in the small clearing.
The two men were cooking breakfast for the children, who were planning a fishing trip without their fathers. Seven could clearly see that while three of the children were human the other had forehead ridges indicating a Klingon heritage. Seven was certain she was seeing B'Elanna at a much younger age. It was obvious the younger version of the engineer was unhappy in her surroundings. The other children seemed uncomfortable around her and often the young girl was left on her own, amusing herself by reading and building a stronger fishing pole for her father.
At lunch, when the fathers were away fishing, one of the younger boys teased B'Elanna, placing a worm on her sandwich and laughing that he thought Klingons liked live food. The tiny Klingon ran away in tears. The program seemed to jump ahead to the return of the two older men. \From the discussions, Seven understood that the darker man was B'Elanna's father John Torres and the sandy-haired man was his brother Carl. She heard the men talking about B'Elanna. When Carl started to apologize for his son's behaviour B'Elanna's father hastened to assure him that he felt it was B'Elanna's fault. Seven could see the figure of the young B'Elanna in her tent and realized that she could hear every hurtful thing her father was saying about her. He called her willful, angry and unpredictable. He went so far as to imply that his brother didn't know B'Elanna very well when Carl remarked that B'Elanna was a great kid. How awful that must have been for the small girl. Seven felt her heart begin to break on the young Klingon's behalf. A tear was falling down B'Elanna's cheek as she heard her father say that it had been a mistake to marry Miral, B'Elanna's mother, and that if it had been difficult to live with one Klingon it was impossible to live with two. Seven was beginning to have a clearer picture as to why B'Elanna was so conflicted about her Klingon heritage. She saw it as the thing that had cost her everything she loved in her life.
The worst was yet to come and Seven watched the young Klingon attempt to run away from the camp only to be caught by her father. They argued and her father chastised the young girl for eavesdropping. He told her that he and her mother were having trouble, and B'Elanna accused him of not liking Klingons. The argument ended when B'Elanna told her father to leave them if he didn't love them anymore. At that point the program froze...the young B'Elanna's enraged face was still frozen in its scream.
They sat in silence for a moment and then B'Elanna softly said, "He left us 12 days later and I never saw him again." She was crying softly and when Seven put her arm around her shoulder she just leaned into the contact, burying her face in Seven's side. "I loved him so much," she sobbed. Seven rubbed B'Elanna's back as she cried, trying to comfort the distraught young woman. Finally the storm subsided and B'Elanna sat up.
"How often do you run this program," Seven queried?
"I'm not sure...a lot...it's like touching an open wound...it hurts but I can't seem to stop."
"You blame yourself for your father leaving," Seven stated calmly.
"Hey, it's a little hard not to...I told him to go and he did. Its like he was just waiting for permission to leave."
"You were twelve years old and despite your beliefs, you are simply not that powerful-you did not control his actions. Had he been determined to go nothing would have stopped him, and had he wished to stay he would have." Seven knew she was being blunt, but she couldn't stand the thought that B'Elanna was carrying so much guilt and pain around inside.
B'Elanna didn't look up, merely nodded at Seven's words..."I wish I could make myself believe that."
Seven hesitated, and then having made up her mind she spoke softly. "It would seem we have yet one more thing in common."
B'Elanna looked up with a puzzled expression.
Seven gestured at the frozen program. "May I?"
"Sure."
"Computer run Seven of Nine program Tau Alpha 1"
The room shimmered around them and when it rematerialized B'Elanna found herself aboard a small starship. Seven took her hand and led her to a darkened corner where they stood as the program unfolded. B'Elanna could see a man and woman working furiously aboard the ship. They were both tall and blonde and completely riveted by what they were doing. \From off to the left, a pretty young blonde child entered the bridge. She was holding a small doll and had clearly been crying. She tried to engage the attention of both of the adults, and finally the man knelt down and took her by the shoulders. "Annika, you know that we're both busy...just go back to your room and we'll be there shortly. I know you're daddy's big girl and you can take care of yourself for a little while right?" He smiled at the child and then gently turned her around, giving her a gentle push in the direction the sleeping quarters. She wasn't even gone from the bridge when he was back at his work.
B'Elanna realized that she was aboard Seven's parent's research vessel, the Raven, and as the program unfolded she watched the young girl wander about like a ghost in her own life. Her parents were so devoted to their study of the Borg that it took precedence over everything else in their lives. The program was a litany of broken promises, interrupted dinners and forgotten birthdays, and slowly the young Annika stopped crying and began drifting emotionlessly through her life. B'Elanna was shocked to realize that the Borg had stolen her childhood long before she was assimilated. She would often come to the bridge and hide in the darkened corner just in front of where Seven and B'Elanna now stood and simply watch her parents work. She was there now, just in front of them when there was a sudden burst of activity on the bridge of the vessel and the first Borg drone transported on board. B'Elanna was transfixed as she saw young Annika watch silently as her parents struggled with the drone. She watched as her father was grabbed from behind and she watched as the assimilation tubules punctured his throat. His face was a rictus of pain as the implants began to burst through his skin. The young girl finally screamed as the armor-clad arms of a drone reached over the console and dragged her from her hiding place. The program ended as the drone began to assimilate the child.
"Oh Kahless Seven, I had no idea." B'Elanna turned to Seven who was frozen in place, staring at the now empty bridge of her parent's ship. She wasn't crying and if B'Elanna hadn't known better she would have thought that Seven had no feelings about what she had just seen, but her eyes betrayed the pain she was feeling, and her struggle to control it. Not knowing what else to do B'Elanna simply pulled Seven into her arms. The younger woman held herself there rigidly for a moment before she sagged into the embrace. They clung to each other as if their lives depended on the contact between them, and many minutes passed before they finally moved apart.
"We are quiet a pair aren't we," B'Elanna said bitterly.
"Indeed," was the quiet reply.
"Do you want to talk about this," B'Elanna queried softy.
"I am not certain I am capable of having that discussion at this time." B'Elanna finally recognized the stilted speech for what it was... a coping mechanism.
B'Elanna was a little unsure of what to do next...just what exactly DID you do after baring your soul, and your deepest shame to a person you thought hated until recently. In the end it was Seven who suggested going to the messhall for dinner. B'Elanna readily agreed, not so much because she was hungry but because in the neutral atmosphere of the messhall she knew she wouldn't have to deal with everything she was feeling...about what she had just witnessed and about the person with whom she had witnessed it.
After dinner B'Elanna was reluctant to part from the vulnerable young woman, so she timidly questioned, "maybe you've had your fill of holoprograms for the day, but I was wondering, there is an ancient earth film playing in Holodeck 1 and Sandrine's is running in Holodeck 2. I don't suppose you'd like to go to either of them would you?"
Seven couldn't help but smile at the hopeful note that crept into B'Elanna's voice. "I do not believe I am up for 'small talk and mingling' but I have never seen a 'movie,' if you wish, I would like to experience this with you."
B'Elanna grinned, "Ever had popcorn with extra butter?"
Seven shook her head in the negative wondering what she had gotten herself into now.
They entered the theatre, which was a perfect replica of one from earth's late twentieth century. B'Elanna obtained a huge tub of popcorn and a giant cardboard cup filled with Coke, and they found seats near the back of the darkened theatre. After explaining patiently to Seven, that indeed the entertainment was supposed to be monochromatic, they settled back to enjoy the film. Seven was happy to be in such close proximity to the object of her affections, and as the movie progressed she relaxed in her seat, allowing her leg to rest against B'Elanna's. Occasionally when their fingers would brush as they both reached for popcorn (her new favourite food) at the same time she felt a tingle like an electrical charge run through her body. The grief of this afternoon was slowly replaced with a sense of true contentment, for both of them.
As B'Elanna walked Seven back to the Cargo Bay after the movie ended they discussed the film.
"No Seven, she's not supposed to stay behind."
"But she loved him, not her husband. It is illogical that she would leave with a man she did not love."
"It's supposed to be romantic. She loved him Seven...just not the same way."
"I still believe the movie would have been more 'romantic' had she remained with her true love."
B'Elanna just laughed at Seven's logic. "Romantic advice from the Borg, will wonders never cease."
She couldn't remember a time in her life when she had ever been happier than right now. She threw her arm around Seven's waist and drawled, "Seven, this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."
To be continued....